One thing to know about Husband and I is that we can be a bit critical of one another. We also can be really negative. Even when a situation is ideal we can find something negative about it. You have heard the saying iron sharpening iron? Unfortunately the saying can go with the bad as well. It’s something that can be a real problem in our relationship because we both internalize criticisms deeply and when we get in a negative funk we tend to be more critical. It can cause a bit of a spiral.
We have decided to combat this, head on, with “positivity exercises”, being in the word and holding each-other accountable for our negative comments. From past experience the positivity exercises really work for us. This is something we did in the past but lately we have neglected it and we can really tell. This is what a positivity exercise looks like for us.
- We go over the day and list the positive points, helping each other out if either one is struggling to see the positive. Realizing that if something goes well in our spouses day it’s a positive for both, after all two become one.
- Next we ask each other lighthearted questions. I found several lists on Pinterest, we pull them up and start asking a few.
- Have date nights and alternate who plans them. This is one area we are lazy in. You can use those questions to help you create a date just for your spouse. My idea of a date is way different than my Husband’s and the questions give me the upper hand when plotting our next date night.
We found that deep questions and conversations are better left for a time when both of our love tanks are full. If you don’t know what a love tank is I recommend the book The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman. I tend to fret over us not having the same view on topics. It’s much easier to see the other persons point of view and accept it if your love tank is full.
These are just ways we are learning that we can set ourselves up for successful communication, an area that is difficult for us at times.
In addition I recently started a woman’s bible study at Church and we are going through the book The Power of a Praying® Wife. I want to be more intentional about praying for my Husband. I also ordered the 6-month bible-study journal from The Time Warp Wife, it should be here Saturday! Journal-ing is a wonderful way to document your journey with Christ. I can look back through my journals and see how much I have grown in the word and in my walk.
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